we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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