Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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