She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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