I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
