let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
