Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
