so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
