So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
