i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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