I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
