I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
