theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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