So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
