you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
