I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
