Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
