Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
