I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
