This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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