he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
