I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
