Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
