Sry I called you an 8
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
