somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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