I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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