We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
