Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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