hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
