This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
love makes seman taste better
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
