I wanna bring you to show and tell
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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