put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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