Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
