I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
