If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
