You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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