I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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