On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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