Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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