do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
