We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
