I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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