dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
