I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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