Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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