oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
