Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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