We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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