i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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