and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
did you just send me my own nude
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
