this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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